What was I thinking?

Honestly I have not put any thought into the babies room what the hell made me think I could carve one pumpkin let alone 4. I know I usually do 10 but that is when I am actually excited about Halloween. I am not excited about anything these days.

Actually that isn't true. I got excited about an email saying I might actually have work to do starting next week. Woo hoo - p.a.r.t.y!

I am one sad human being but honestly sitting at work reading blogs really does get boring after a while. I even tried to get Mr. Spaghettibender to give me some of his homework to do = )

You would think I would be blogging more - but I have nothing to do in my life. I am not allowed to do anything strenuous, I can't have sex, Mr. Spaghettibender is busy with school, my best friend is dealing with her own baby woes. What the hell am I suppose to do with myself? So needless to say there isn't anything for me to blog about.

I will try and do better.

Hormones

My hormones are all over the place. I feel like I have so much stuff to look into and consider and my brain is swirling. The other day I ended up in the shower crying so Mr. Spaghettibender didn't see me.

He is so focused on school that I feel like I am going through this pregnancy on my own. Then he'll do his typical scenario of chiming in once I have spent hours investigating things and making me change everything. For instance our crib. I had looked into many cribs and cost etc. I finally decided on one for Sears that was solid wood and on sale for $320. That was fine at first until he saw another defective one, well defect in the stain, that he wanted instead because it was $399 and it came with a mattress. Since we had already bought the Sears one I wasn't about to go back and return it. But if it mattered to him that much then whatever he wanted to do I was fine with. We were at the store for over an hour waiting for him to make up his mind. I was so annoyed. A fight erupted.

My thoughts. I already bought a crib so I don't personally want to return it and buy another one. If this is something he wants to do then he can go ahead. WHY THE HELL DOES IT TAKE HIM SO LONG TO DECIDE. Then he says that it has to be "our" decision. I thought I was going to strangle the life out of him right there in the crib section.

So after what felt like a gazzilion hours we left the store to go look at our previous purchased bed.

End result after over 5hrs of dragging around a pregnant person. We returned our original crib purchase. Employees at Babies R Us are useless. We found 3 stroller that we liked that were over $400. We didn't find a dresser and my feet were killing me.

All I want is to actually knock off some items on our baby list.

On a lighter note. I have two Baby showers coming up. So both hostesses asked me to get a registry together. So I struggled and checked reviews and polled friends on things I needed to place on the list. The invited went out last week and there is already some stuff bought for our little Spaghettibender = )

Congrats to the my BF!

Yesterday my best friends water broke - okay more like the drain plug came out a bit. Finally after waiting for contraction and nothing happening she went to the hospital. That is when she was induced.

When I first found out she was in labour I cried. Anyone I ran into I told and I got all teary eyed again. I went home and waited to hear from her ... I cried some more. All this crying was purely because I was excited for her.

She finally called me at 11:30 last night to tell me they had a little baby girl. Ahhh! They had wanted to wait until the birth to find out what they were having. Unfortunately because of a previously known heart defect the baby was whisked out of her arms before they could decide on a name.

I am now sitting here at my desk not wanting to leave in fear that she will call. I am hoping that everything went okay with the baby overnight. But here I sit waiting and hoping ... this is going to be one very long day.

Great

I have noticed that bad things always happen when I can't talk to Mr. Spaghtettibender. On Saturday he was in a Wedding. They had started the party early with breakfast at 8am. So off he went. I dragged my lazy ass out of bed only to plop down on the sofa and avoid doing anything. Finally I thought I should get my butt in the shower if I wanted to dry and curl my hair before the Wedding. So there I am enjoying a nice warm shower when that horrible feeling rushes over my body.

Faint, sick... I'm going to pass out.

I sit myself down and turn the shower to cool. I start to cry wishing Mr. SB was here to take care of me. Then who opens the shower door - my night in shining armour. I told him I almost passed out again. He said okay I'm staying here until you are okay. I told him I was feeling better but he didn't care he was staying until I was feeling 100%. So I got out of the shower and threw on some warm clothes.

I was feeling better - look I am walk and talking... now go to the grooms and get ready for the wedding day.

Finally he left and I finished getting ready. I decide to try out my handy new steamer gadget - which sucked ass. But while I was swearing and complaining to myself the phone rang. I let it go to the answering machine since earlier it was all telephone solicitors. It was my Obgyn. I ran to pick up the phone, thinking in my head "why would she call on a Saturday". She went on to tell me that my last ultrasound looked good, the baby was developing nicely.

You could tell there was a BUT.

And there it was but we have seen that your placenta is lying low. So we need you to abstain from sex and exercise until your 30wk ultrasound. I was stunned. She went on the say the baby was fine and all the other results of tests were fine but she needed me to take things easy until my next ultrasound.

I hung up the phone and lost it. I'm sorry but when someone tells you not to have sex for the next 10wks that sends off warning bells in my head. So being alone and not having Mr. SB to talk to I do the most ridiculous thing. I look up low lying placenta on the internet.

WRONG!

Don't ever look things up when your doctor doesn't seem that worried. I read all about bleeding, loosing the baby, loosing your own life... it wasn't pretty.

So I continued to cry. I didn't know who to talk to or what to do. I didn't want to call Mr. SB and get him all freaked out when he had a Wedding to take part in. So I just tried to finish getting ready and hope that when I finally do see him at the ceremony that I don't loose it.

Luckily the phone rings and it is him. I immediately start to cry and only get out the words the doctor called before continuing my out of control crying. Finally I calm down and tell him what the doctor said. I explain that I am just really emotional right now and it isn't as bad as I am making it out to be. Poor him. Not being there when the doctor called to ask her his own questions.

So I am still a little unsure of what is going to happen. Everything on the internet says that the placenta can move up and away from the cervix by the next 30wk ultrasound but honestly 10wks is a long time to wait and find out.

I was starting to get over the nausea and I was really hoping to start exercising again. I don't know what I can and can't do anymore. The doctor said I can do light walking but nothing to strenuous like long hikes.

Great. Now Mr. SB won't let me do anything. I lifted a tray of cold cuts at a party and he got made at me... this is going to be a very long 10wks.

Yes I am a pregnant 33yr old.

After a very, very long day we finally had our 19wk ultrasound and we found out the sex of the baby. Like I said before having a little girl would be harder for me to get use to then a little boy.

So when the tech asked us "do we want..." before she even finished the sentence Mr. Spaghettibender said "yes" she said okay we'll see if the baby co-operates with us.

She went around doing measurements of the baby and then she says to us. I have seen some things... Mr. Spaghettibender says "things" is it a boy... she says yes. I swear to you I got teary eyed. He kissed my hand and said you got what you wished on your bday.

When we left there we went to dinner at Bella's Bistro. I had a gift card that had to be used up by the end of the year and thought what a great time to use it up. Being in a tiny restaurant didn't leave us much privacy though. I kinda wish we had just gone home and curled up on the sofa and talked.

Dinner took so long that by the time we got home it was time for Mr. Spaghettibender to run off to class. His brother had called just as we got in the door so I told him he could tell him. Everyone still says - I thought you were going next week.

Ha, ha - fooled ya!

So then I emailed the ultrasound pic to my mom and my cousin. I then went through the 14 voice messages on our phone with bday wishes and Mr.Spaghtettibender ran off to school. I have no idea how all this stuff happens when we have no time to sit down and enjoy things together. I talked to my mom and then my cousin. My mom decided to stop by to give me my bday gift. Then the phone kept ringing all night. By the time I got to sit down and relax it was 9pm. By then I really just wanted to see Mr. Spaghettibender and talk to him.

His class finishes at 10pm and that hour just dragged on. I was never so excited to see him pull into the driveway. I told him all about my nights events and we talked until 11:30. I was so exhausted that I was sick... no not pregnancy nausea... exhausted sick. I said we have to go to bed - I turned off the lamp and I was out like a light. I slept straight through until my alarm. That is so unusual.

Here I am today talking about such a big event happening in my life and all I can think about is how I wish I was with my husband. Honestly I would have taken the morning off to be with him (no classes until after lunch) but he had previously decided to work construction with his cousin this morning. Can't blame a guy for trying to make some extra cash.

So now I am missing him and wishing for some time alone.

Definitely not something I see in our future since tonight we have a Wedding rehearsal party and I can't see us getting home until at least 10pm. So no stopping and adjusting for us.

Mew, I'm tired!

Don, Don, Donna...

today is my birthday... don, don, donna = )

Not only is today my 33rd - yes that is right 33rd bday but it is also my 19wk ultrasound. I have mixed feelings about doing this ultrasound on my bday.

One reason. My girlfriend found out at this ultrasound that her baby had a serious heart defect. Not exactly the news I would want on my bday.

Another reason. What if it's a girl - yikes. I honestly don't know how I'll function with that news. But I would rather find out now that 4mths from now.

I still can't believe I'm almost half way through. I hope the last half is better than the first half. I have felt better the last couple of days. Less nausea. But I am not sleeping well at all. I'm not uncomfortable or anything just wide awake.

Makes me even more absent minded.

So only 6 more hours to go!

We have a leak!

When I got home last night I realized - from the excitement of one of my fur babies that Mr. Spaghettibender hadn't feed them. So off I trotted to get the giant bag of cat food and fill up their bin. When I was downstairs I noticed some of the new concrete looked wet. As I walked over to it I stepped in something wet. First reaction - cat pee - ew! But nope it was actually water leaking out from a crack between the new and old concrete. I couldn't wait for Mr. Spaghettibender to get home and fill him in on this.

Then off I went to look at my long list of things to do before this weekend. I was hopefully that Mr. Spaghettibender would have been able to help me with stuff but from the state of the house yesterday I'm not holding my breathe.

What is a girl to do when she has less than 3 days to get her house ready for a baby shower and a husband who is determined to make things worse.