Start of a great week

I was up on time, ready on time, out the door on time. What a great start to the week.

I might as well get this out of the way now so I never have to talk about it again. Last week I had two exams... well competitions for jobs at a higher level. The first one on Tuesday was for my current job. It went well - I scored a 96.6% so I am just waiting for my letter of offer. The second one was on Friday and it was for my old job. It was a killer. It was so practical that I never studied that way. So everything that I take for granted as second nature wasn't. I got overwhelmed and I believe I have to right to say "crashed and burned". Here I was afraid to look stupid to my old boss and I managed to do just that. If I try and look on the bright side, at least I got the first job = )

Do you ever notice how when one thing in your life starts to go well the other goes down the hill. Finally I am making headway on the career front which inevitably means that the home front is crumbling. I just don't know how to get through to my husband that he needs to step it up with the whole "I love you and want to make you happy" events that make a couple a couple. He has never been a very romantic guy. Even his idea of foreplay is asking me if I want to have sex or "spend time together". Trying to encourage our creative side I have bought books like 101 grrreat nights of sex , 101 grrreat nights of romance and a his/hers book of romantic ideas. I thought this might spark some stuff over the years ... I was wrong. At first he used the 101 great nights of sex but they were getting very similar. So when I bought the his/hers book of romantic ideas I thought he might be able to use it for inspiration. Nope, he thought the ideas were cheesy. And I don't think he has even cracked the book 101 grrreat nights of romance.

I am truly getting frustrated, I am trying to get him involved but nothing. He keeps telling me that I'm doing nothing. But if you look back on our life together you see I have made so many efforts and I'm tired of it. I am almost picketing any further romance from me until he shows some effort in this department.

I mean most men would make more of an effort to at least have sex. Not him. He won't even suck it up so that we can have sex. WTF is with that. Some candles, a back rub ... something he knows will lead to the bedroom - nothing, nada! I think cobwebs are going to start forming.

What am I suppose to do? I am really starting to believe he just isn't interested in me anymore. Maybe it is true what they say... marriage kills a relationship. Happy 12th anniversary Mr. Spaghettibender.

Two Exams this week

All weekend I avoided studying, yesterday was an exceptionally depiction of aversion. I cleaned the spare bedroom and then reorganized the Halloween decorations. I hand washed the shower curtain. I worked out extra long. I made dinner, cleaned and put away all the dishes.... yep I was clearly in no mood to memorize or retain information.

Countdown to exam number 1 in 't' minus 1hr and 45mins. = {

Not exactly...

... the weekend I had hoped for. I fought up barfing all Friday night and I thought I could hold it off at the shower on Saturday night - I was wrong. I wanted to be there so much to help out and celebrate with the bride-to-be but it was pretty obvious I needed to go home.

So since the crows were leaving - as expected. If only winning money was so easy. So they said they would drive me home. I brought along a barf bag just in case I was getting sick in the car and we couldn't pull over. That was the longest ride home. Not because I was extremely nauseous but because I wanted to smother the crows with my barf bag. They had to complain about everything. There was no happy thoughts for the bride-to-be. Before we left they talked about doing another Bachelorette party while we are down south for this Wedding. I'm sorry but I'm not on vacation to get away from my husband like they are... argh!

I am having a crappy day today. I didn't want to go to work, I stalled as long as possible this morning. I don't think that is a good sign. Maybe I'll go get a coffee and chocolate muffin to boost my energy and hopefully when I get back I'll have a cake on my desk saying Happy Retirement and my family will be gathered around saying we won the jackpot.

Wishful thinking = )

This weekends adventures.

So this weekend will have its adventures I'm sure.

Tonight is an Epicure party with a bunch of people I don't know - hopefully they will be really nice and friendly to the newbie to the group.

Tomorrow I have a Bridal shower followed by a Bachelorette party.

I can only imagine what that is going to be like. Some of the girls are complaining about the shower because it is for a Bride that is getting married down south. They keep going on about spending $2000 to be there for their wedding and not understanding why they need to fork out more $ for a shower.

I personally feel they are messed up. I mean when the couple announced they were getting married and they were thinking about doing it down south, everyone started to say they wanted to go. Well news break, you aren't just going for them. You are also going for the vacation, sun and surf. So you choose to go. Your $2000 isn't for them. It is for your own vacation as well. I don't think it would hurt you to show some gratitude towards the great friendship they have given you by shelling out a couple more $. WTF!

I just get so annoyed at some of these girls. They just don't get it. They are so consumed with their own world they don't care about all the effort others put in.

I am going and I'm going to make damn sure she has a great time.

... even if there is a wee too much drinking involved = )

7 things that make me cool

Okay I have to list 7 things that make me cool. Yeah, like this is easy for someone like me with only a smig of self confidence.

1. I have a Halloween party every year in which I go all out.
2. I have had some couples over for drinks and actually made a drink menu. (they still laugh about this one)
3. I absolutely love ziplines, you know you hook on a harness and clip onto a really long metal line and go zipping down it.
4. I was my husbands right hand for most of our house renovations - including reshingling our roof.
5. My friends are very important to me and I'll pretty much do anything for them
6. I love to talk
7. I love throwing themed parties for people and making sure it is an evening they would enjoy.

I'm jealous

I am really, truly, honestly jealous of my best friend. We have a similar story in our education and relationship yet she always gets what I want.

Lets start with job. We finished school at the same time. Within 6mths of each other we both started to work in our field - however we were both on contract. I became permanent first but within 6mths she had a term at a higher level and within 3years was two levels higher than me. mew! I am still struggling to get promoted.

Then their is relationship. We were both with our partners for 8yrs by the time they broke up because he wouldn't commit to anything. We had just bought a house so we had more of a commitment. Then they got back together. I got proposed to in front of a bunch of friends - which I always said I didn't want. And am still holding a lot of anger towards my only proposal being so effortless and special. She got this special very personal proposal that is where my jealousy first started.

Then her Bachelorette party - planned by me was exactly what I would have wanted but she for some unknown reason let one of the other bridesmaid plan mine. Mine sucked - hers rocked!

Next our Wedding Days. I wanted an outdoor wedding with something more intimate for 'us' to say our vows to each other. Somehow Mr. Spaghettibender gets it into his head that he wants it in a church. I have no idea what we were thinking. Well we did that with a horrible priest and said vows we didn't fully respect. My best friend ended up having their Wedding at the exact place we originally wanted and did their own personal vows. So jealous!

That leaves us with the Honeymoon - I always wanted to go to Greece. Well guess where they went - yep, Greece. We supposedly couldn't afford to go to Greece. Well we could have if we cut back on stuff from our Wedding Day. But we ended up in the Mayan Riviera in the middle of July in the sweltering heat. Not good at all. I would actually say it was a waste of money. So I just finished looking at some of their Honeymoon pics and I am so jealous. I wanted Honeymoon pics like that.

So I am trying really hard to think about the good things I have in my life but I have to tell you it is really hard. I mean I guess I didn't realize how much of those special sweet personal things between spouses/partners that I miss experiencing. I guess I didn't realize how much more I need from my partner to make me happy.

What is a woman to do?