Another melt down

I had another melt down. I lost it Sunday night after yet another weekend of doing nothing. That's right nothing. I am just so nauseous and that makes me not want to do A thing. My summer is whizzing by and I have nothing to show for it but a dent in my sofa.

I can't wait for the day when I can go to work and be a normal person that doesn't hide from people hoping not to hurl. I can't wait to go home after work and enjoy dinner. I can't wait to watch TV (thankfully fall season is approaching) and run or walk - I'm not fussy at this moment on my treadmill and maybe get some weight training in.

Oh, those were the days.

I can only hope that what people say are true - it gets better after the first trimester. Okay so is that week 12 or 13? I am now at week 11 and I can make it another 2wks. But if what I've read on some baby forum is correct I can look forward to these lovely feeling until 17wks or maybe even my entire pregnancy. = O

Why are we doing this again...

Don't want to hear it!

I don't want to hear how carrying a child is the best thing in life. It isn't! Especially when you wake up nauseous, work nauseous and go home nauseous. You don't want to socialize with friends because you would rather be alone to throw up in seclusion. You don't want to run errands 'cause you don't want to throw up in your car or out the window.

I really don't know how anyone can call this a great experience. My boobs are sore and huge and heavy. I am so sick I can't exercise but don't worry because the only food I can eat is pasta and that doesn't contain any calories. I have no ambition to do anything at work. Thank gawd they gave me a cubicle in the corner away from everyone so I can pretend to do stuff.

I have a doctor's appointment tomorrow and I'm hoping to be put on an anti-nausea drug. Mr. Spaghettibender is worried that we'll have kids like the thalidomide babies of the 1950s. He makes me worry so much.

I have to say that I know understand how mother that have miscarriages feel. Ever week that goes by makes me feel more confident that things are okay but I am on a message board where girls around me are miscarrying with pregnancies longer than mine. It just throws me for a loop each time.

I'm hoping tomorrow we can schedule an ultrasound for sometime in the next couple of weeks.

Chew-chew! On aboard! The worry train is about to leave!

Happy Canada Day!

Yesterday was Canada Day and although I'm proud to be Canadian... it sucks that I can't celebrate like one. We arrived at one pool/bbq party with some of our friends only to have people talk about when we were finally going to have kids. In my head "ha, suckers I'm already pregnant" But really the joke was on me as I watched them down their finally chilled alcoholic beverages = (

Then off we went to another bbq at my brother-in-laws place. As soon as we arrived I wanted to return to the first one. Where they had trays of veggies, fruit, chips and salsa. This would have been a followed by a fabulous bbq feast I'm sure. But no we were at my brother-in-laws where I saw old shrivelled up tiny hot dog all by their lonesome in a dish. They had started the burgers on the bbq as we arrived but I have no idea how long the dogs had just been sitting there. My stomach was so hungry so I said screw it and got a burger - BAD, very bad idea. The burgers were horrible. Even Mr. Spaghettibender barely ate his. Then we were supplied with chips. Lots and lots of chips.

Great, I was so happy we would be there for the rest of the evening.

As the evening slowly crept by I realized something. I tolerate his family much better when I'm drinking.

Well I hope the rest of the world had a fabulous Canada Day!